Here's an excerpt:
My grasp of contemporary fashion, music and even basic social trends is tenuous, at best.
Yet one of 2012's hallmarks, of which I am fully-informed, is the obsession with all things pickled. The hipster-and-home-garden-inspired craze was even skewered in a recent episode of Portlandia, with the main characters cruising Cascadia's streets on fixies, adamantly proclaiming, "we can pickle that." And although I appreciate the potential cost and food savings from a well-pickled veggie, my preferred method of chemical salvage revolves around a magical tube of glue, and the supremely confident proclamation, "I can Seam Grip that!"
It is said, that upon holding a hammer, everything suddenly seems like a nail. For me, when holding an open tube of Seam Grip, everything seems to be leaking, tattered, crampon-torn, in too-many pieces, insufficiently waterproof or potentially in danger of achieving any of these states. I attribute this to Seam Grip's incredible effectiveness, as well as its alacritous tendency to harden inside the tube, rendering your $6 glue into a 3/4oz. rubber-filled sleeve. In addition to the normal uses, such as sleeping pad repair and shoe reinforcement, I've Seam Gripped my car (clutch pedal and broken tail light), apartment plumbing (loose shower knob) and iPod (which now doesn't slide off a dusty dashboard). I have also cut away a thin triangle of fabric from the back of a size large jacket, and Seam Gripped the left and right halves together. It'd been a gift, so who was I to let a detail like proper sizing prevent the use of a much-needed coat? Amid various crusades to utilize every drop of adhesive from a partially-used, hence soon-to-harden tube, I've also found a number of seriously beneficial applications for climbers.